Waiting with Purpose


What’s the latest movie you’ve watched that didn’t involve a sex scene or scene that eluded to the idea of sex? I’m sure you’re still thinking about it - unless, you’ve recently watched a cartoon. But let’s really talk about more than sex here, since people are talking about sex everywhere. Let’s talk about the absence of sex. The intentional lack of a sex life.

How does it feel? What does it look like? What’s the point?

My own interest in abstinence came from wanting to serve God. From a young age, I made the decision that I would wait. I found myself telling guys that would try hinting to sex, that the only man I’d be sexing was my husband. I survived my freshman year of college and then I gave in. Sophomore year I’d convinced myself that sex wasn’t so bad as long as it was with the one I wanted to be my husband. I began to feel myself becoming more like the culture around me instead of staying grounded. I found people such as Heather Lindsey and was reminded of God’s desire for my body. He created me so preciously and I should treat it as such.

It is time to talk about waiting again.

Whether you’ve given it up once, none, or plenty of times - you can still wait. You can still make the choice to start fresh, to ask God to purify your heart and renew your flesh. The truth of the matter is that waiting isn’t easy. If it was, everyone and their mama would be doing it. But you’ve really got to constantly ground yourself in your why: Why did you make this choice? Why do you want to be abstinent? Why are you practicing celibacy? And for the times you are struggling, don’t forget to ask the why questions as well: Why do I want to give in? Why do I feel this way? Why has my desire changed?

On the path of celibacy or abstinence, it is so crucial to pay attention to how you feel.

You really have to be intentional in every situation. Be intentional in your music, your TV shows, the events you attend. If things make you feel a certain way, avoid them until they don’t. This is for singles and people in a relationship. If you are dating and desire to practice celibacy you need to pay attention to what you do and when you do it. It probably isn’t the smartest thing to spend a lot of time in the bedroom, and if you don’t have much of an option, opt for a side chair instead of getting cozy on the bed.

You’ve got to be real with yourself, single or not.

If you feel lustful, force yourself to do something that’s completely opposite of this feeling. My best practice is talking to God or reading the Bible. Although it might sound really weird, think about it. Psalms 21 isn’t going to make you want to do anything with that man or woman- because waiting isn’t only for the ladies.

Lastly, know that you are not alone. God is happy with your desire to want to wait. And guess what? There are plenty of us out here rooting for you. You’ve got this, and know that God’s got you.