How I Healed from Betrayal (Part III)
How I Healed from Betrayal (Part III)
By Donna James
The devil sure knows how to put a package together. However, when you are clothed in the blood of Jesus, He’ll allow you to see right through those packages and see them for what they truly are.
This man “appeared” exceptional— possessing everything I’d prayed for! Can you believe that the devil had been listening to my prayers and he created, then presented me a wolf in sheep clothing?
I despise serial dating and running from man to man. I love being with one person through thick and thin. The devil knew that, so when I found out that my “boyfriend” at the time was stepping out on me (November 2016, June 2017 and July 2017) each time I thought it was a phase or something (my butt was naive tbh). I NEVER gave anyone THIS many chances to hurt me! But, I loved him and, at the time, I thought he was sent by God for me!
I know what you are thinking right now— “Girl, God ain’t gonna send someone into your life to dismantle it.” and you are so right. However, I struggled with the idea of starting over! I was guilty of stupidity. There was also a part of me that started to realize that I enjoyed the “thought” of us, better than the reality of us.
Each time he messed up he would feed me nonsense like:
“I love you, just you.”
“I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“It’ll never happen again.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“I’m really sorry.”
I literally got so tired of hearing that mess that I became numb to his apologies and his words. It go to the point where his voice started to aggravate me.
So why did you say “YES,” when he asked you to marry him?
Well, we had already had the discussion that I was very clear about how seriously I take marriage seriously and that I don’t plan on getting a divorce after I get married. I also let him know that if he was still doing his dirt I did not want him to ask me to get married. I expressed to him that I don’t care if I spent thousands of dollars or if we are married, you cheat on me, that’s it! I’m pulling the plug and I don’t care. Plus, it had been about 6 months since the last incident; or so I thought.
January 2018- he asked me to marry him and I said yes! But your girl didn’t just say yes and that’s it. I said yes putting it ALL in GOD’s hands. See we were the couple that prayed together before bed every night. He usually prayed out loud. Me? I was praying in my mind asking God to show me that this union was in his will. Every night and every morning this was my prayer.
When he sent me the signs in May, I could do nothing but laugh! My father, the one I put all trust in had delivered exactly what I had been praying for, my sign.
This man had the nerve to be cheating on me with some chick that worked at McDonalds ( don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with that because that was my first job in HIGH SCHOOL, but your “Fiancé” is out here building a whole career as a Law Enforcement Officer). The next chick had kids and no car! Like, sir you are trying the hell out of me!
But it ultimately came down to the fact that he couldn’t handle a strong independent woman. He needed to be with someone he felt like he could push around. His insecurities made him want someone who’s going to be constantly dependent him. I was neither! It was a tough pill to swallow but I watched too many failed marriages and relationships of people who remain together when they know they deserve better.
I ended the relationship. The relationship I THOUGHT was sent by God.
What are some signs you can look for in your relationship that will show you that God did not sent it? Baby girl, young man, you will feel it. There’s going to be an uneasy feeling you get. You are always going to feel like there needs to be more in the relationship. Those intuitions will be so much different from any other inkling you are used to having.
—If you start justifying your significant other’s actions to those closest to you, they need to go!
—You enjoy the pictures of you two rather than the actual interaction between you two, they need to go!
—The moment you are more comfortable with what you “think” the relationship should be rather than what it really is, they need to go. Remember, when God blesses you with anything, you are never left wondering or feeling uneasy.
Wait! I thought I would be able to sum it all up in part III, but it gets so much better. Let’s just say, the police were called. Yup! I called my people on me!
Stay tuned for the icing on the cake.
Read How I Healed from Betrayal (Part II)