Letter to a Twenty Somethin’: Trusting the Process


Letter to a Twenty Somethin’: Trusting the Process

By: Janae Deshanelle 

In my life I constantly go by the saying “everything happens for a reason.” During my short twenty two years on this earth, I sometimes question my purpose and exactly what I should be doing. Countless times I felt like I was behind my peers as if I was doing something wrong. Having discussions with some of my friends, I realized I am not the only one who feels this way. Plenty of people feel if they see someone getting ahead in life they need to catch up. Whether it be school, work, personal goals and even in certain relationships, nobody will have the same path to success and happiness. Myself, as well as some friends of mine have learned this the hard way. Comparing ourselves to other people's success has caused unnecessary stress. Along the way we have learned, what is meant for you will happen when the time is right. 

Personally my struggles with being behind others started my senior year of high school. Most of my friends were getting their acceptance letters to a bunch of big name schools while I had received not one letter. I became discouraged and cried myself to sleep several nights a week. The fear of not being accepted to any colleges, let alone a Historically Black College or University (HBCU), and having to stay home was beginning to take over my mind. I thought to myself "What if nobody accepts me?" "what if I have to stay home?" "what am I going to tell my friends?!" My dream of always going to an HBCU and living on campus was starting to crumble. Finally in April my acceptance letters started to come in and I made the decision to attend the University of Bridgeport, no it was not an HBCU but it was an opportunity to go away. After completing two years at Bridgeport my dream of attending an HBCU finally came true when I received my acceptance to Howard University. It was not when I had planned but it came when necessary.

As a twenty something year old, comparing yourself to others is draining and takes more energy than necessary. Even though it may all seem like if you do not have everything figured out by a certain point that you have failed as a person. That failure which you feel is only temporary. Without struggle there is no progress and without learning who you are as an individual through trial and error, you will not trust the process which you are meant to be on. 

A majority of the time, what you would like most may not fall into place but with patience and determination anything can happen. What you want the most may not always be right there but learning to not give up on yourself is the most important part. As my grandma always told me growing up, "it will always be alright." Her words have carried me through life and more than ever I have always trusted God's speed and not my own.