Defining Self-Love All 2019


Defining Self-Love All 2019

By Sahmia Parks

Over the course of 2018 and going into 2019, I have been seeing an outpouring of #selflove articles or self-love quotes. You know, the ones that have you looking at your phone screaming “YASS SIS!” or “THAT is a WORD!” Trust me, I’ve been that woman scrolling through all of the self-love Instagram accounts mentally stimulating my brain on feel-good texts and saving relatable memes. As women, we sometimes have a tendency to give of ourselves without being 100% full. With depression and mental health at an all-time high, it’s critical that we look at the ways in which we are really loving ourselves outside of the ways that are glamorized on social media.

In reflection of the ways in which I love myself, I had to look at the habits and rituals that made me feel whole. Self-love boils down to self-care. It does not always equate to manicures or elaborate trips around the world. It can be as simple as having a morning ritual and sticking to it every morning. It can mean defining your relationships by how they best benefit you and how you benefit from them from a mental and spiritual perspective. Self-love can sometimes looks like the correcting of your character flaws in order to push you to new levels of being. Self-love is truly identifying what makes you whole and what stimulates you to grow.

Personally speaking, self-love for me looks like winding down from a long day by taking a nice bubble bath while journaling my thoughts of the lessons learned from the day. It also looks like me getting lost in a really good book. Self-care looks like waking up on Sunday mornings and learning a new baking recipe from scratch or sitting in front of the mirror detangling my hair. It may even look like having hard conversations about my flaws on long walks in nature to actively work on them.

Self-love can sometimes look like isolation from people in order to tap into your inner voice and discover your soul’s desires. Take a moment this month to really define the things that bring you sparks of joy.

Let’s start your journey to self-care with this simple guide:

  • Make a list of reasons why you love yourself.

  • Write down the compliments other people give you (to see how the world sees you).

  • Celebrate your growth as a whole person.

  • Simplify your Day-to-Day tasks and activities.

  • Identify the areas in your life that may need decluttering or tidying up.

  • Have Media Black-Out Day.

    • A day with no social media does the mind and heart wonders. Shut off the book and the Gram for a few days

  • Meditate as often as your schedule permits.

  • Create personal affirmations that make you feel dynamic (ex. I am Beautiful. Everything is working in favor of my highest good.).

  • Start dressing in a way which makes you feel confident and beautiful.

    • Rather than following what’s in style. You know what works for you, make the most of it! Few things make you feel better than knowing that you look great.

  • Always express gratitude (it could be worse, so be thankful every day of the things you have).

  • Take yourself on a date (solo dinners with wine are AMAZING).

  • Be honest with people who expect for you to put their needs before yours. Your needs come are a top priority.

As you can see, self-love comes is so many different forms. It is important to explore the different ways that you can show love to yourself. You are a multifaceted being, deserving of love that is an adequate enough to give you foundation to build your life on. Let’s flourish in self-love, all 2019.