The Truth Behind My Passion For Women Empowerment


The Truth Behind My Passion For Women Empowerment

By Diahni Sample

Women empowerment is more than just a popular topic. I have made my contribution to the present divide amongst women. I speak to many women at events and I’m constantly trying to bring positivity through social media. Yet, I am still not perfect. I have failed myself as a young woman while trying to help others. I realized that my feelings of humiliation in sharing my truth is the healing that women need. Our truth is the best light to live in. Having the courage to tell my truth has been tough for me. I worried about people seeing my imperfections. At 19, I realized that my imperfections should be embraced because they make me who I am.

I can speak to reasons why women hate each other, because I’ve been that woman before. In the past four years, I’ve seen myself act hateful towards women who did nothing to me. I have been the young woman who wondered what another queen had that I didn’t have at that time. I have said nasty things about other queens to make myself feel good. I put myself in a competition with other queens because of my own insecurities. Fearing that they would “take my man” or “do what I couldn’t do” were two of the most prevalent thoughts that drove me into a spirit of jealousy that I dealt with from age sixteen until age twenty.

I realized it was time for me to change myself right after my 20th birthday. The boy I was with at the time had been involved with another girl. When I found out, I reacted based off of my pain. I decided to text the girl he was involved with in my anger. I said mean and hateful things to her. I wanted her feelings to be hurt the way mine were. I wanted her to feel worthless like I felt. I found out that day that nothing good comes out of trying to intentionally hurt others. I also realized that all I did that day was make myself look like a fool. I let my insecurities show and that day proved how much hate was inside of me. That interaction revealed how much work I had to do before I could thrive in my passion to teach other women.

Some of the most impactful steps in my process in growth towards empowering women are as follows:

Confronting Yourself

When we realize that we have an issue that no one can change but us, the first step is confronting ourselves. I had to confront myself the day I said those terrible things to hurt that other queen. I had to realize what my issues were and what caused those issues. I had to look at myself in the mirror and make it clear that no one else can take me out of the insecurities but me.

Taking Responsibility

Taking responsibility isn’t easy. This step definitely wasn’t easy for me. I knew that I loved to play the victim in tough situations. I blamed everyone else for my problems because it alleviated me from taking responsibility. I knew that when I blamed others for my problems, it was my excuse for acting the way I did without assuming responsibility. I believed my behavior was “justified.” When I the choice to stop pointing fingers, I realized that my actions were on me, not anyone else.

Forgiving Myself

The hardest part about texting that girl those mean things was the guilt I felt afterwards. I knew that what I said to her was wrong. I was afraid of other people seeing the ugly truths of my insecurities. I had to stop beating myself up for my actions and learn how to grow from them. I had to put my big girl pants on and take action to become better. I pray everyday and read positive affirmations that encourage my healing. Forgiving ourselves is the only way to achieve true healing.

I can only speak on what I know. My own experiences are the reasons that I speak to bring young women together. I don’t want young women putting themselves in the same position that I’ve put myself in in my past experiences, especially if I can teach and break the cycle of the tearing down of other queens in our society. It is our responsibility to build each other up to be empowered women.