What are the Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship?


What are the Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship?

By Tori Glaude (@toritaught_u)

No matter how charming your partner was at the beginning, or how great the relationship seemed at first, there might have been red flags that the relationship wasn’t healthy. For those who have been a toxic relationship, it's important to recognize and acknowledge the signs to break the cycle of finding yourself in one again.

Getting Serious Way Too Fast

Be wary if your partner is pushing you to do things at a fast pace, such as moving in together, or getting engaged before you are ready. Healthy relationships develop naturally – you both need time to get to know each other properly before taking the next step.

If your partner is pressuring you to move in with them after only knowing you a few weeks, for example, that’s a huge red flag. Why the hurry?

Ask yourself one question – am I ready for this step? Do I feel as though things are moving too fast? Your feelings are just as valid as theirs are.

If either of you is pushing the relationship forward too quickly, the chances are good that you are looking for some kind of validation.

It is especially important to be careful of going too fast if you have just gotten out of a relationship with someone – you need time to heal before moving on to your next relationship.

Extreme Jealousy

So, a guy looks at you across the bar, and he gets upset. You want to hang out with your friends, and he gets jealous. It’s flattering at first that he cares so much about you that he doesn’t want to share you with anyone else.

You get told something along the lines of, “I trust you, but I don’t trust them.” When it comes to your family or friends, he tells you that they don’t treat him properly or they make him feel uncomfortable.

All this is, is another form of control. He wants you isolated. He wants you to be completely dependent on him, without any external support. A great relationship can last when there is a balanced level of security on both sides.

Becoming Emotionally Codependent

This type of relationship is the kind that makes you attached to the hip with your boyfriend. Wherever he goes, you go. And vice versa.

You find yourself giving more and more during the relationship and getting little in return. It could be using your last dime to pay a bill for him, or always supporting him in the things he does. The support is never returned, though.

The result is always feeling in a state of lacking or depletion. You're putting in more into the relationship than he is and finding yourself frustrated because he can't even do the smallest things you ask him to.

Whenever you find yourself bringing up the issue with him, he becomes defensive and doesn't want to talk about it anymore. This is a huge red flag – he is showing you that he is an emotionally unavailable man.

These are all red flags that the relationship is unhealthy. It’s going to be hard to be consistently happy in any of these relationships. It’ll be like you are on an emotional rollercoaster ride. This keeps you feeling as if you are emotionally stuck.

You are going to learn some hard truths in these relationships, and it may seem easier to ignore them. The only way to get past them, though, is first to admit them and accept that things are the way they are. People can and do change, but it may not always be in the way you expect it to be. It may not necessarily be in the areas you feel need to be changed. Knowing and avoiding the signs will ultimately lead to more positive relationships, including the one with yourself.